We decided to wait to have birth children to give Cassidy time to adjust and to really learn that she was going to be with us forever. After two and a half years we had our first birth child and Cassidy was so happy to be a big sister. Two years later we had our last child. They have grown up knowing that Cassidy did not grow in my belly, but came from another woman’s. Someone who was unable to care for Cassidy. It is not something we hide. We told Cassidy it is up to her who she tells, if anyone. Each September 1st we celebrate her Adoption Anniversary. We celebrate the fact that we were lucky enough to find each other. All three of my children are amazingly close. My four year old is so completely in love with her big sister, she idolizes her and constantly states how much she loves her. I love to see how completely a part of our family Cassidy has become. My name and my husbands name is on her birth certificate, WE are her parents, for better or worse. We are linked for the rest of our lives and I am so incredibly happy that we were able to give this child a home, but more so the love that she deserves. She is JUST like her father in so many respects, with a healthy sprinkling of me in there. Although it is neat to see her and her birth sister together – the way they walk, the way they talk, their hand movements and head movements are identical, yet they never even lived together. It’s that age old question of nature vs nurture… I think there’s a 50/50 split after watching my child!
I remember one time I went to bed, and when I woke up my mom told me DCF had called her and she had run to their office, picked up a young girl and came home, at around 10 pm. The girl slept at our house and my mom brought her back to the DCF office at 7:30 that morning. I never even met her. Or you get the children that you have in your home, in your family, for a year or more. You bond with them, grow to love and adore them, only to have them go home to their birth family. That is typically the goal for these children – to be returned to their birth family, if possible. That happened to us. We had a little boy that we absolutely loved, he was 4 years old and just the sweetest little thing. After a year, he was sent home to his birth mother. I’ve never seen him again. That was heartbreaking for me. But if you have the strength and love in your heart, I encourage you to give a child a place to call home. There are thousands, THOUSANDS of children without homes, without families, without love, and if you can change just one of their lives, then you are helping make the world a better place.